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French & Saunders Characters

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French & Saunders have created some of the best characters TV has ever seen...Here are just a few of the many, many, many they have!
 
In no particular order...

The Extras.
 
Always trying to upstage the actors in whatever they're in, the Extras are well established characters in the world of French and Saunders. One of their finest moments in the ensemble of a production of 'Carmen'. One of the ladies yelling whilst holding out her 'dead baby' produced from her neverending props basket : "Madame! Madame le bebe!! Le bebe et MERDE!!"

Dot and May.
 
Nothing much to say apart from that these are two of the finest characters ever know to man, woman or dinosaur (as grown from amber). The owners of companies such as 'Star Pets', 'Star Vegetables' and the amazing 'Prickly Pear Park' Dot and May truely are stars! May's first appearence was in series 2, first seen together in series three and last spotted in series six...we can only pray for a Dot and May series to be created!

Teenagers.
 
In series six, they said they'd never play teenagers again, but came up with some stunning sketches : "OH FORGET IT!!". From the very start French and Saunders have played teenagers, how can anyone forget the 'sex talk' in which Dawn educated Jennifer in the art of 'having it off'. Long live the teenagers!

Junior and Emma.
 
Public school girls at their best.
 
Jnr : "I was brought here when I was 2."
Em : "Oh right! I was 4."
Jnr : "Oh wow, Late!"
 
Last spotted on a sports day in Live in 2000 Junior and Emma have been around for quite some time, Emma studying polotics and Junior not really doing an awful lot. A love for 'Beanies' and being stuck in school over the holidays, Junior and Emma were brought together by accident and Junior will do whatever Emma wishes.
 
Jnr : "Permission to sit down?"
Em : "Permission granted."
 
Junior is Jordanise Royal family, and Emma's mother was a hairdresser ... no sorry, is the hairdresser ...

Fat Men.
 
Seen either down the pub, sat in front of the telly, or slightly randomly trying out for panto...these guys are constantly thinking that they are irresistible to any woman. "Oh I'd give 'er one." "Id give 'er two.", but sadly neither are likely to have seen their genitals for many years, let alone 'given any' to anyone! Clearly the names of these characters took a long time to come up with... Jim and Jim. Introduced in series one and last spotted in series four (as far as I know!). Who knows what Jim and Jim are up to now. Possibly still watching Miss World and looking forward to hearing from the lovely Sue Lawley on TV or Radio.
 
Jim : "I know what she's thinking... She's thinking 'I could 'ave a bit of THAT ! And a bit of the other!"

Fat Women/Aristocrats
 
Very similar to the Fat Men, but female. These ladies spend their days at the races, drinking whiskey and insulting anyone younger than themselves. One of them happened to help her husband to his grave very kindly because he was very sick in the end, she says she "had to. Hit him over the head with a shovel, dumped him on the bonfire." Many injuries caused whilst out and about, but of course they are merely flesh wounds that will sort themselves out eventually!
 
"Blood and Sand!"
"A load of Stuff and Nonsense!"

Madonna.
 
Often mentioned, but not played as much as she should be. An entire episode dedicated to the movie/documentary 'In Bed With Madonna' in series four with Madonna Dawn and Madonna Jennifer was definitely a finer French and Saunders moment.
 
"I swear to God you mother, if you eat the whole of that, you are going to be compromising ... something."
 
Madonna Dawn and Jennifer made another appearance in series six, Jennifer as Muscly Madonna, and Dawn as Motherly/Sweet Madonna. Wonderful stories and outfits, even a little bit of rude language and Sweet Madonna mentioning how Muscly Madonna looks "a little over-toned". And we wonder why Madonna would never make an apperance herself...
 
"MADONNA!? MADONNA!?"

Jackie and Lianne.
 
Fans of Gilbert and Sullivan concerts and catalogue shopping, the Queens of clutter and useless items, Jackie and Lianne are truely brilliant. Always with well laid out plans, such as a mapped and marked out route to their seats at a concert, reversable bags and stick on heels to make plain old work shoes look ready for a night out these women are never short of ideas. Even when it means that their joint wedding plans would cost them 2 million ... each ... and with an eye to economy they decide that the best thing to change about their joint wedding is to get themselves some boyfriends first ...
 
"A carpet of yellow roses!"

Lananeeneenoonoo.
 
Lananeeneenoonoo, first appeared in 1988 Christmas special with a classic rendition of 'Jimmy Mac'. Luckily for them they were so good that Bananarama teamed up with them to make a Comic Relief single. A cover of The Beatles - Help! They even performed it live on Comic Relief night!
 
Lananeeneenoonoo was made up of Jennifer Sauders, Dawn French and Kathy Burke.

Dance Quickies.
 
Not always the same character, but some amazing dance moves shown by the ladies during these short but oh so sweet sketches! We got everything from Irish dancing, Flappers, 90's Clubbers, and 60's disco. They never failed to impress. Each would start out so well but go unfortunately wrong with events like them falling over, strobe lights blinding them, beads breaking, banging heads, trousers falling down, the Irish dancers moving their arms... You name it, and it probably happened!

Mother and Daughter.
 
The French and Saunders mother and daughter sketches inspired one of the best comedy series ever made, but you know that already I'm sure! In case you missed out on it, check out the AbFab page sweetie! Absolutely Fabulous !
 
It varies as to who plays the mother and who gets to be the daughter, but Jennifer is normally mum, as shown in the 'Modern Mother and Daughter' sketch and the latest ones in series six. Although Dawn played a cracking mother in the Titanic Special : "Don't come crying to me when you're up to your scabby earlobes in rabbit droppings!"

Special Effects Specialists.
 
Hummm, perhaps specialists is the wrong word to use. Special Effect Bluffs more like. So they work very well in miniture, especially with ants. They excell in making the crappest props money can buy and enjoy the element of danger that comes with their line of work. Used for their skills on many major motion pictures, Titanic, Lord of the Rings and still in work in series six, on the set of Troy, working very closely with the ants...
 
One can't help but wonder what film they may be dealing with now...

The Expert.
 
"Our expert this morning is, Dawn French. Dawn welcome." Let's just say that Dawn is an expert on many, many things. Celebrities, the Royal Family, the financial market and even Space (Outer-Space and hanging space). The only thing our expert has a problem with is staying seated on the sofa after her segment!

Camp Stylists.
 
Stylists to the stars, Kate Moss, Dusty Springfield, and anyone else who will let the get their magic fingers on them. Chain-smoking, bitchy just about sums it up.
 
"She'll be ready when she's FRIGGIN' ready alright?"

Elizabeathen Women.
 
Often found down the Pub having a couple of pints and some interesting bar snacks, Pigs Nipples a favourite but not so keen on Po-tat-os. These two ladies are experts at gossip and also master chefs. Cooking Donkey Doodles and adding urine to things for flavour, who wouldn't want to taste their home-made delights?
 
With sons playing women in Shakespeare and marrying trollops...what else can these ladies do but have a good gossipy chin-wag about the health of others over a swift half?
 
"How are people down your road?"
"Oh not well. I haven't seen a solid pass my door for weeks."

Murial and Maddy.
 
Artists? Crazies? Genius?
 
Who knows how Murial and Maddy can be described, however their innovative artwork has wowed us all. With such wonders as 'Maddy's Clock' how can anyone fail to love thier work?
 
One small problem is the inability to draw fingers...however easily overcome with some extreme projects like dropping Maddy in to wet concrete from a great height.
 
They met at a Slade concert, and the artistic sparks began to fly. But where are they now we ask ourselves? Well, who can say?
 
Lines for which these two ladies should not be forgotten:
Maddy - "MORE TEA VICAR"
Murial - "Get on the pedistal you pretentious cow."
Maddy - "Come on come on. Come on Come on!"
Murial - "I CAN draw fingers!
Maddy - "WE DON'T EAT MEAT!"

MORE SOON!

Dawn and Jennifer.
 
Coming soon...

Sugar Lumps.
 
Forget the Spice Girls, the Sugar Lumps are the way forward. With one hit single under their belt they should be going far. However they seem to have disappeared a little bit, maybe schoolwork got in the way?
 
"Thank you my school, for teaching me the golden rule..."
"ooooooooooooh Bodyform. Bodyform for yoooooooooou."

Biddeford/Florida Ladies.
 
Coming soon...

Make-up Girls.
 
Coming soon...

Doctors Waiting Room Women.
 
Coming soon...

Female Angst.
 
Coming soon...

Renne and Renata.
 
Coming soon...

School Kids.
 
Coming soon...

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