This is a guide done
from the video that was released 'complete and unedited' not the episodes as they were shown on TV.
The Cast
: Written by and starring --> Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders.
With
: Raw Sex --> Simon Brint and Roland Rivron.
And :
Kirsty Macoll.
Episode
1 : broadcast 15th March 1990. Guest starring Jerry Hall and Marie Helvin.
1. Jennifer and Dawn
doing a 'Welcome to French and Saunders' voice-over.
2. The 'Sound of
Music'.Dawn and Jennifer talking over the sketch and Jennifer fast forwards Dawns singing to get to her own
good bits.
3. At home - Jerry
Hall and Marie Helvin stand in for Dawn and Jennifer because they are busy on the 'catwalks of Milan'.
4. Star Test - Sonia.
5. Fat Aristocrats
- Broken leg and shotgun stories.
6. Good Morning TV
- A right royal guest, royal expert.
7. Abba spoof - "C'est
La Vie"
8. Fat Aristocrats
- Land Rover crashes through the kitchen wall crushing one of the ladies.
9. Kirsty Macoll - Fifteen
minutes.
10. Out and About
- Star Pets with Dot and May.
11. End of episode - Jennifer
and Dawn talk over the credits like in the opening of the episode.
Episode
2 : broadcast 22nd March 1990. Guest starring Mac Mcdonald.
1. Whatever happened
to Baby Dawn? opens with Dawn singing 'I'm simply amazing, unique and new...'. Then shows the reason Jennifer isn't walking
anymore in the later bits of the sketch.
2. Star Test - Bros.
3. Good Morning TV
- Dawns dosh spot - financial expert.
4. Baby Dawn calling
Old Mr Jones at the shop to order a large amount of curly wurlys.
5. Kirsty Macoll
singing with Raw Sex - 'Something Stupid'.
6. Fat Aristocrats
- Conversation about the daughters wedding they just attended.
7. Womens magazine
editors - Easter issue.
8. Baby Dawn Getting drunk
and hitting Jennifer with a sledgehammer on the legs, followed by killing her. Then drunken singing : 'I'm simply amazing,
unigue and new...' untill the episode finishes.
Episode 3 :
broadcast 29th March 1990. Guest starring Kathy Burke.
1. The Exorcist Part 1
- "Feeling any better?"
2. Watchout - Looking at celebrity Lookee Likees.
3. The Exorcist Part 2 - Dawn vomits on Jennifer after her pea soup.
4. She Rappers - Janet P and Spinderella.
5. Good Morning TV - The Hollywood Expert.
6. Kirsty MacColl song, Jennifer and Dawn riding motorbikes...
7. The Exorcist Part 3 - "Your Mother sucks Jelly Babies in Hell."
8. Rock Stars and their Toilet Seats - Publisher meeting over lunch.
9. The Exorcist Part 4 - Final scene, ends with Jennifer jumping out of a window
just to get the last shot.
Episode 4 :
broadcast 5th April 1990. Guest starrring Nigel Planer, Eleanor Bron and
Joan Bakewell.
1. Dangerous Liasons Part
1 - "She's the one with the thing."
2. Star Test - Sunita.
3. Dangerous Liasons Part 2 - "where've you been?" "Orgy." "Oh..."
4. Fat Island Disks - Dr Ellanor Wood.
5. Dangerous Liasons Part 3 - "Put up your fan, we're being wathed."
6. Good Morning TV - The Expert, but no subject to speak about!
7. The Can Man Andy - Velvet Underground spoof.
8. At Home - Dawn and Jennifer make a mistake in make-up and come out dressed
as the ladies from Birds of a Feather.
9. Dangerous Liasons Part 4 - More Gossiping "Do you remember the time when
I ..."
Episode 5 :
broadcast 12th April 1990.
1. Gone With The Wind Part
1 - "Fiddle de dee Mammie."
2. In Prison Part 1 - "How are you??"
3. Star Test - Wendy for Transvision Vamp.
4. In Prison Part 2 - "Would you like to play a game?"
5. Gone With The Wind Part 2 - "I've taken the padding off Jennifer."
6. Raw Sex - Duet with Mrs Dobson.
7. In Prison Part 3 - "I've got to get out!"
8. Kirsty MacColl - Song.
9. Gone With The Wind Part 3 - "Kiss me Rhet."
10. Cleaners - Old Fartarse's House.
11. Gone With The Wind Part 4 - "I swear as long as I live, I'll never be poor
again!" and then Dawn sings It's Raining Men.
Episode 6 :
broadcast 19th April 1990. Guest starring Harriet Thorpe and Mac Mcdonald.
1. French and Saunders are a girls best friend.
2. Actors backstage complaining about the conditions they are working in -
"No-one knows what the HELL is going ON!"
3. Raw Sex - 100 easy tunes for guitar trial, starring a number of famous guitarists.
4. Marilyn and Jean - Happy Birthday.
5. Live Laughs at the Comedy Cavern - Beth Wimeblatt.
6. Kirsty MacColl song.
7. Teenage Boys in the Pub, playing pool and drinking pints very slowly.
8. Modern Mother and Daughter.
9. Marilyn and Jean - French and Saunders are a girls best friend song again.
Episode
7 : broadcast 26th April 1990. Guest starring Jane Asher and Carl Davis.
1. Dawn in a jazz
club showing off her tap dancing skills.
2. Raw Sex Courier
Service - "It'll get there with Ken and Dwane."
3. French and Saunders Actors Agency Part 1 - Talent spotting and Elaine Paige
threatening to sue Jennifer.
4. Bros entering the BBC building with many security men.
5. School girls trying to get boys attention. "Is Jazz lookin' at me?"
6. French and Saunders Actors Agency Part 2 - Jennifer writing her apology
for Elaine for calling her a Potato actress, not a Petite Actress.
7. Raw Sex Couriers fail to deliver the apology as quickly as Jennifer would
have liked.
8. Jackie and Lianne - Planning for going to a Gilbert and Sullivan concert.
9. Opera Divas singing I Should Be So Lucky.
10. Raw Sex - Singing a 70's medly.
11. French and Saunders Actors Agency Part 3 - Dawn wearing a ridicuous outfit
informs Jennifer she has started a breast feeding service... They lose all their clients except for Jane Asher. who decides
to pay them a visit and throw party cakes in their faces.
End of Series Three.