The first series
was set as a variety TV show that was not very good. You see both the show and the backstage bits, so here is a guide to try
and explain what was in the series.
: Written by and starring --> Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders.
: Raw Sex --> Simon Brint and Roland Rivron.
: The Hot Hoofers --> 'Madame' Betty Marsden, Olwyn Atkinson, Ina Clare, June Easther, Caroline Haig, Vivienne Joy
and Peter Johnston.
They were also joined
each week by a guest star or two...
1 : broadcast 9th March 1987. Guest starring Alison Moyet.
1. Opening titles
with Jennifer trying to outshine Dawn and keep her out of shot as much as possible.
2. The Hot Hoofers
dancing to the French and Saunders theme tune 'Bop a doo ee oo' and Jennifer and Dawns entrance with Jennifer sat on a throne.
3. Backstage - F&S
dressing room where Jennifer gives Dawn her suit of the 'matching' pair that have been made for them.
4. Sketch - Burglary
at school with the missing 'A-Ha' pencil case and french projects.
5. On Stage again
- Some variety using 'one chair, a sheet and no tricks avaliable'. The story of Goldilocks and the three bears is told followed
by the Hot Hoofers again.
6. Backstage - Looking
for Alison Moyet (Dawn told her to go to BBC Manchester)
7. Make-up artists
- Looking at baby pictures.
8. Costume department
- 'That is an Angela Rippen'
9. On satge - Dawn
pretending to be Alison Moyet because she still hasn't been found, and the Alison turning up.
10. Alison Moyet
singing 'Ordinary Girl' with Jennifer and Dawn doing backing singing.
11. Sketch - Sports
report with the Extras
12. On stage - The
show closing and Hot Hoofer dancing some more
13. After the credits -
'Coming soon on TV' Eastenders, Ramba and Dawn Dares.
2 : broadcast 16th March 1987. Guest starring Roy Castle.
1. Opening titles
followed by the Hot Hoofers on stage.
2. Dawn on stage
introducing the show and Jennifers spectacular entrance (which goes horribly wrong)
3. Backstage - Jennifer
in make-up to find something to cover the brusing.
4. In the dressing
room, Dawn and Jennifer try to rigure out why the stunt went so wrong (It was due to Jennifer lying about her wieght) 'I've
been 8 stone since I was 15' Jennifer then trys to relax listening to Billy Joel and Dawn ruins it by singing
5. Sketch - It's
Great! with the Bangles in space.
6. On stage again,
another stunt goes wrong and Jennifer gets stuck on the lighting rig. While Jennifer is stuck, Dawn entertains the audience
with jokes and impressions.
7. Sketch - The
Extras in an advert for a filght company with the best air hostesses in the world. Beautifully ruined by comically large props.
8. On stage with
Dawn again. Jennifer frees herself from the lights and falls, Dawn rolls her off-stage
9. Madame and The
Hot Hoofers dancing and singing 'I am 16' with Roy Castle.
10. Sketch - The
Avengers - no costume designer.
11. On stage - Jennifer
'in a tank of water' and planning to stay there for 30 mins. Dawn ruins the illusion though, and the audience leaves. The
3 : broadcast 23rd March 1987. Guest starring Julie T. Wallace.
1. Opening titles
followed by the Hot Hoofers.
2. Dawn's peom for
women : 'Birth. Bloody birth'.
3. The Hot Hoofers
Kinfe and Onion dance.
4. Make-up artists
with Julie T. Wallace and Jennifer mistaking her for Julie Walters.
5. Fat men - She's
beggin' for it!
6. Dawn and Jennifer
in their dressing room. Dawn is answering her 'fan mail'.
7. Julie T. Wallace
in her caravan with the costume assistants.
8. Gypsy Cup of Tea
- Spirit-O-Rama - Messages from beyond.
9. On stage - Jennifers
showbiz friend Mr Eddie Idris 'The Mad Hatter'.
10. Ken and Dwayne
cleaning the toilets. Jennifer and Dawn go in and while dawn is in the loo talking about Julie, Julie walks in and over-hears
what she says...
11. Sycronised swimming
- Lindsay and Tracy Macdonald
12. On-stage - Interview
with Julie T. Wallace that goes very wrong, and ends up with Julie throwing orange juice in Jennifers face and then sabotaging
the show by showing the audience how to 'Go Potty with Julie T. Wallace'.
13. Jennifer requests that
the final music is played and they begin to sing 'Feelings'. Julie then starts to throw clay around at Jennifer and Dawn and
the cameras, the credits roll.
4 : broadcast 30th March 1987. Guest starring Michael Grade.
1. Opening titles
and the the Hot Hoofers dancing to 'Fame'.
2. Jennifer and Dawn
enter and are dressed as golfers, speaking in northern accents, telling very bad jokes.
3. Raw Sex doing
'Let There be Drums'
4. Backstage with
Dawn and Jennifer and they are getting their ratings - the ratings are not good, only 12 people watching the show.
5. In the toilets
Dwayne passes out and on stage the Hot Hoofers are on again.
6. The Menopazzi
Sisters doing their mime/circus act.
7. Jennifer and Dawn
go to see the director of the BBC and steal a BAFTA on the way.
8. Bravo, Bravo sketch.
9. Back to Dawn and
Jennifer talking to Micheal Grade and Dawn trying to change their ratings to make it look like they have more than 12 viewers.
10. On stage with
the Menopazzi Sisters again.
11. Jennifer and
Dawn's cheeky chappy northern golfers, into Raw Sex perfoming 'Windmills of my Mind'.
12. Madame complaining
about conditions for the Hot Hoofers to Jennifer and Dawn.
13. Opera Extras.
14. Jennifer and Dawn trying
to get viewing figures up by showing pictures of famous people. The Hot Hoofers come back on, and then the credits.
5 : broadcast 6th April 1987. Guest starring Jools Holland, Rik Mayall
and Harry Enfield.
1. Titles play. A
BBC announcement is played saying French and Saunders has been cancelled.
2. TV reporter outside
the BBC bumps into the Hot Hoofers and they vioce their opinions about Jennifer and Dawn.
3. Dawn and Jennifer
arrive at the BBC but are not allowed in by sectrity.
4. Jennifer and Dawn
breaking into the Television Centre via the Blue Peter garden, accidentally standing on various Blue Peter animals.
5. They take over
the Blue Peter studio to film the show and Dawn ends up breaking large parts of the studio.
6. Catwalk models
- Marie Shanti and Terri Tall in Fashion 1987.
7. Back to the Blue
Peter studio. Dawn doing camera work while Raw Sex play and then opening the BP stock cupboard and releasing mayhem,
8. School girls -
conversation about 'starting' or the 'devils curse'.
9. Jools Holland
plays with the help of Raw Sex.
10. The extras in
a war-time film.
11. Back to Studio
and Jennifer finds on the VT 'Futher confessions of Chesty French' She tells Dawn off.
12. Credits roll and Jennifer
keeps telling Dawn how disgusting she thinks her 'home videos' are.
6 : broadcast 13th April 1987. Guest starring Joan Armatrading and Harriet
1. Titles...Hot Hoofers
aqua-marina dance (underwater theme). Jennifer and Dawn come out to introduce the last show in the series *aww*
2. Jennifer and Dawn
in their dressing room - Dawn gives Jennifer a 'last show' present and shows her all the others she has bought for the cast
and crew. Jennifer gets annoyed because she didn't think of buying presents for people.
3. Dawn gets back
to the dressing room...and Jennifer has gone with the presents. Dawn follows her giving them out and manages to lock her in
4. The Hot Hoofers
having celebration drinks and Joan Armatrading arrives, Madame tries to show her to a dressing room.
5. Dawn gets her
gifts for Raw Sex and hands them out on-stage. She explains that jennifer has had a shobiz breakdown and the she is now in
charge of the show.
6. Sketch - A Uni
lecturer who is very 'laid bacl' and gives the trainee teachers a 'chat' about teaching 'human beings' rather than a lecture
about teaching children.
7. Madame leads Joan
right out of the BBC building.
8. Raw Sex still
playing on stage and Dwayne invites his friend Edwardo to play with them. Jennifer is still locked in the toilets.
9. Fame spoof - Cassie
Broadway and an amazing song and dance routine.
10. Back on stage
with Edwardo and Raw Sex...Jennifer escapes the toilet and goes to tell Dawn off but Joan turns up in time to save Dawn for
a short while.
11. Jaon Armatrading
12. Finale - Jennifer and
Dawn come on stage (Dawn has a black eye) and Jennifer does all the thank yous.